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by Gary ForemanMuch as we'd like to, we can't marry just part of someone. We marry all of them. That includes their good and bad points. Also their assets and liabilities.
Amber has great credit and she's worked hard to keep it that way. The man she is about to marry is not good at paying bills on time and his credit has suffered. Will his previous debts affect her credit rating? Will she be responsible for money he owed before they got together?
You do not assume the credit history of your spouse just by getting married. His bad record will not automatically contaminate her good one. Her credit rating is only affected by what she does. Anything that you do yourself or jointly with someone else will be reflected on your record. But events after the marriage will effect both of their credit files. And as time goes by their credit histories will begin to look similar.
Unless Amber keeps all of her financial affairs completely separate it will be almost impossible to avoid the influence of his debts. For instance, he may have agreed to pay half of the rent. But he could end up in a position where he's legally required to pay back a debt before he honors his commitment to Amber.
Before the wedding I'd recommend putting together a joint budget. Just filling out a budget form together should be a real learning experience. Take plenty of time to discuss how each of you relate to money. Come to an agreement as to what's acceptable money behavior. Any couple planning marriage should do the same thing.
Remember that it's very difficult to avoid getting tangled up in your spouse's problems. Whether your mate snores or has financial troubles, it's pretty tough to ignore. And it will affect your relationship and home life.
Amber's fiancée isn't just bringing debts with him to the alter. He's also bringing promises to make future payments to different creditors. It's just like Amber is also saying "I do" to his payment schedule. The marriage doesn't release him from any commitments to repay debt.
The creditors won't attend Amber's wedding reception but they will expect to be repaid. So if he falls behind they'll go after any money that legally belongs to Amber's fiancée. That includes anything that's owned jointly with her.
There are several types of joint ownership. Space doesn't allow for a detailed discussion. But be careful. Many joint accounts (for instance a joint checking account) allow for either person to access all of the money. That means that all of the money is also available to creditors.
Amber's husband-to-be may not want to tap into a joint account. But if he falls behind his creditors could get a judgment and force him to. Courts generally don't care who contributed to the joint account. If he can legally access the money it's also fair game for creditors.
Keeping Amber's finances separate isn't going to be easy. Want to buy a home? You'll need to plan on doing it in your name alone. Joint ownership would make the house a target for creditors. Even if Amber supplied every single dollar that went into the house.
This isn't going to be popular advice, but I'd suggest that Amber postpone the marriage until her fiancée has better control of his debts. If the relationship is really important to him, he'll gladly make the sacrifice. If he's reluctant you need to know before the wedding.
Anyone who's been married for awhile will tell you that you won't change your spouse's habits after the wedding. Don't expect him to adjust his ways later. If anything, tendencies become more ingrained. It's irresponsible to neglect to pay bills on time. Grown-ups don't do that type of thing.
~ Gary Foreman is a former Certified Financial Planner who currently edits The Dollar Stretcher
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